Do you know what to do if your child misbehaves on a visit?

14 December

The time of New Year holidays is coming, so it’s time for the merry companionate evening parties. If you have children then it’s not a reason to deny yourself the pleasure to go on a visit to your favored friends. Evenings and holidays spent with family are surely good things, but sometimes you should go visiting for a change. Also, for children, the visit of other adults or relatives is a great skills training for children to go out, which is the important part of their socialization. But sometimes the visit with children turns into real nightmare. Children become uncontrolled; they don’t keep up any appearances, etc. What to do in such situations?

The best variant is to prepare the child to visiting guests in advance, a day or two before the event. Talk to him seriously, and can resort to a little trick. For example, make a bet, which will motivate him all evening at a party to behave well. Read him a book on etiquette, interest him in that he should adhere to certain rules at the party. Game approach will give better results than intimidation and punishment.

Bring your child's favorite toys or any his home things. In this way the child will not be bored, and he will not have the need to take things of your friends for his games. You can bring a coloring book or an album with colored pencils (better to take pencils instead of paints, the child won’t soil someone's house).

In any case don’t punish the child on a visit, even if he is provoking it. He's doing it on purpose to get your attention, get you out of yourself and get you to go home with him. This is a typical manipulation, which children with lack of adult attention often resort to. It is better to take your child to a private room and there to speak to him with a quiet and calm voice. If you are shouting at the child, threaten him, he will realize that his manipulations work, and he will use it more often.

If your friends have children of the same age as your child, he can quarrel with them and even fight. In any case adults shouldn’t leave such incidents without attention, it is best to work together to forward the energy of children in the right direction. The best way is to come up with an active game that will engage both adults and children on both sides.
If you show a lot of attention to the other children, your child can be jealous and quarrel with them for this reason. Also, there can be a reverse situation - you overpraise your child, speak highly of him, and the children of your friends will "take against" him. So be objective and neutral as much as possible, as to children of friends (family), and so to your children.

You shouldn’t force children to make friends, if they do not want it. Friends’ children don’t always become friends themselves. Try to bring their relationship to neutrality, explain that sometimes people in society should hide their feelings, keeping them to themselves.

Remember that your child will never be able to be polite and behave well in society, if he has nobody to take an example. Behave yourself, and if you really want to brawl and to be have in an improper manner, you shouldn’t take the child to such party.

The most important thing is trying to keep the atmosphere of friendship and celebration, even if there is no reason for celebration. And don’t be nervous and jerky, you will spoil the mood not only to yourself and your child, but to the owners, who will surely try to make it go to the highest level.

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